I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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