If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
