Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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