my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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