did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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