i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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