I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
The beer is more important than you right now.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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