yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Did I show you my penis last night?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
