I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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