Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Randomize