I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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