she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
