so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
