WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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