i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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