I must be too annoying 4 u.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
