why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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