i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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