just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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