How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
