Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
