the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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