Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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