i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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