just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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