i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
