I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
