My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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