Whod you bang
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize