Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
