I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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