the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
