i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
