If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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