HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
