i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
