Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize