Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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