I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Dicks are not precious.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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