Define "chronic" masturbator.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
