Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Never joke about your clitoris.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
