i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Randomize
