It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just want to make out with him forever
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
