i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize