I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
