she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
