i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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