To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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