I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
