the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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