Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
