quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
