I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
