Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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