better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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