he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
false alarm. still invincible.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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