why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
