yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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