Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
