Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
