Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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