I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
My pussy is not your playground.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
