I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
