yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I deserve this hangover.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
