Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
